My Power Friend

Today is my birthday.

As usual, I received a large box from my oldest and dearest friend, Jessica. In it, I found a wrapped gift with this disclaimer:

About a year ago, Paulie and I broke up. Shortly after, I had a vivid and powerful dream about an elephant and Paulie. Rather than try to re-describe it, I’ll just share the email I sent to him, then also shared with Jessica, about the dream:

I had a dream that we were hanging out around this house with other people, all friends of yours, creative types, musicians, etc., sort of a co-op house. All kinds of little things happened. The neighbors had some crazy garden with watermelon & stuff growing there.

An elephant showed up in the front yard and people started freaking out. It was small, but not a baby. Everyone was unsure of what to do, scared it would attack or something. The elephant saw me and came over, put its forehead on my shoulder, I put my arms around its head. From then on it wouldn’t leave. The elephant stayed by my side, we were very comfortable around each other, as in, brought each other comfort and felt at ease together. It tolerated everyone else around.

That night you let it sleep in your room. I slept on the couch. In the morning I heard you getting up and talking to the elephant, just in a ‘hey buddy, ready for another day?’ kind of friendly banter. You came out and said good morning to me. I went in to see the elephant but it had gone out to wander a bit, I think to forage in the neighbor’s garden for watermelons.

I curled up on the hardwood floor of your bedroom because I hadn’t slept well the night before. You curled up behind me and we talked sleepily for a few minutes. Eventually I noticed that you’d somehow gotten your penis inside of me, even though I hadn’t taken off my clothes. I started to breath differently while we talked, enjoying the feeling, but then said “I can tell that you’re having sex with me, you know,” and you put your face next to mine from behind, said “oh yeah?” smiled sheepishly, then got up to go into the bathroom. I followed you and we stood there talking, watching people in the back yard and on the back porch.

The elephant came back into the house and looked cautiously at the people around. Finally it saw me there in the bathroom next to you and RAN (although didn’t CHARGE) to me, where it again put its forehead on my shoulder for a hug. I was the only person that it felt comfortable with. It loved me SO much.

I’d sent him the dream because during our break up we never really figured out how to stop being around each other, communicating, and sharing our thoughts. Both he and Jessica had similar interpretations of the dream, but she added the insight that the elephant must be my power animal. And so it began.

She brought me a necklace. She gave me books about dreams and Hinduism, and today, she gave me this beautiful painting she’d made.

I hope she doesn’t keep her word to stop sending me elephant-themed gifts. She is the one constant reminder of the power I hold in my life – I know it’s there, but sometimes, when it’s hiding way back in the crammed part of my busy brain, something always catches my eye to remind me it’s there. And whatever that is, always came from her.

Thanks Jess!

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