What I did when I was all alone

With a whole weekend to myself, you may recall that I had some pretty big plans. If you don’t feel like clicking that link to see what those plans were, here is a numbered comparison of my vision versus my reality:

1. What I planned on doing: Masturbating.

What I ended up doing: Folding laundry. Lame.

2. What I planned on doing: Listening to Maxwell really loudly

What I ended up doing: Listening to Maxwell really loudly. Also Nina Simone, Eight Belles, and Wilco with Billy Bragg. *Bonus loud music!*

3. What I planned on doing: Reading

What I ended up doing: Reading one Reader’s Write section in the November 2013 issue of The Sun magazine *Totally counts!*

4. What I planned on doing: Drinking prosecco and eating sourdough toast

What I ended up doing:  Drinking prosecco and eating sourdough toast *Success!!*

5. What I planned on doing: Writing

What I ended up doing: Writing! *Huzzuh!*

6. What I planned on doing: Watching romantic comedies

What I ended up doing: Watching two lighthearted movies that were not romantic comedies, but were still of the ‘I would never watch this if Paulie were here’ variety. They were both also of the ‘why am I even watching this?’ variety. *I still cried at the end*

7. What I planned on doing: Attending a birthday extravaganza

What I ended up doing: Having dinner with a friend and her new boyfriend, who I was meeting for the first time. During dinner something prompted me to throw both middle fingers up in front of me and slowly drag them from right to left across the horizon while saying “that’s right mothafuckaaaaa!” because I’m very classy and like to make a good impression upon meeting new people who are important to my friends. *YOLO, amiright?!*

8. What I planned on doing: Spending a lot of time in front of the mirror – first hunting down, then plucking, the white hairs I find on my head

What I ended up doing: Sweeping the floors. Kinda…lame.

9. What I planned on doing: Making sheet angels in the bed

What I ended up doing: Staying on my side of the bed because the pillows I was pretending were Paulie were taking up his side. *Pillow Paulie!*

10. What I planned on doing: Taking selfies during any/all of the above activities and sending them to Paulie.

What I ended up doing: Taking one selfie – sitting up in bed in my jammies, getting ready to watch the afore-mentioned movies. *Not at all sexy*

Overall I had an okay weekend. I worked a lot and found myself with very little free time with which to just chill and breathe in the peaceful silence. But, I did get a chance to sit on my freshly-swept front porch for a bit, reading and drinking prosecco as the sun went down. That was nice. Also, on the drive to the airport I was able to catch up on some podcasts, and that was lovely.

I’m calling it a win.

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