I was recently asked to make a decision. My boyfriend and I were clawing our way back up to a place of peace in our relationship, after a tumultuous week. We were relaxing a bit in the backyard, feeling better, and he asked if I’d like to make any changes in our dynamic. “What do... Continue Reading →
Dinner with Ollie
During my last winter in Michigan, I hated people, with a passion. I wanted to be left alone. Until I didn't want to be alone, and then I visited my friends, joined in their parties, posed in pictures looking happy. One house I visited often was in the student ghetto of downtown Kalamazoo. My friend... Continue Reading →
Fire Breather
For most of my life - up until just a couple of years ago, actually - I've had a very tight, controlled reign on my emotions. First of all, I'm from the Midwest. We don't talk about stuff. We keep our feelings under wraps and if there's something bothering us we just shove it way... Continue Reading →
Dead Head
When I was 14 my dad took me, along with my older step-sister Erin, to see the Grateful Dead. He'd asked Erin if she could score some pot for the show, which she did. He then gave her a joint to share with me, having asked me beforehand if I'd ever smoked. I'd truthfully told him... Continue Reading →
The Hair Pile
The other morning I was showering, trying to be quick but instead thinking about my hair pile. I have long hair, and when I shower - especially when I wash and condition it - I end up with dozens and dozens of loose strands of it tangled in my fingers, set free from the agitation... Continue Reading →
Dive Bar Wedding
I once got married in a dive bar in Oakland. The place, Geo Kaye's, is on the corner of Broadway and 40th, just down the street from Piedmont. I'd recently moved onto the couch of a friend a few blocks away, and wasted no time establishing myself into the scene there. I've always enjoyed being part... Continue Reading →
Note to Self
August 1st I met a really hot guy last night. I was so fucking drunk. Note to Self: Don’t make super-drunk first impression on hot guys. They will always think you’re kinda sloppy. Something compelled me to go to my neighbor’s party across the street, even though I was already drunk and feeling sorry for... Continue Reading →
I’m Not That Girl
I was laying in bed the other morning, my face nestled into my boyfriend’s armpit where it feels most at home, when he called me a dinosaur. I’ll go back a bit. We were talking about our feelings, as we sometimes do. He said that sometimes my love for him is frightening. He explained that... Continue Reading →
Me and Jess and Matt and Jonah
**Originally published on Facebook (before I knew what a blog was...) on October 10th, 2010 When I was an awkward first-grader, I met a girl willing to accept my weird hair and inappropriate goofiness, and I was doggishly grateful for her friendship. She invited me to sleepover birthday parties, of which I'd had no previous... Continue Reading →
Day 4
In my early 20's I moved to California to live the dream. I got a job at Roy's at Pebble Beach, pandying to rich assholes and trying to save up money to go back to college. I had very few commitments and so, when some Concierge that I vaguely knew announced that he was looking... Continue Reading →
Amanda Janik 