I've always loved living alone, but the first time was the most satisfying. Finally tasting freedom, making my own decisions, keeping my own schedule, bathing for as long as I wanted. I called in orders to Martini's for calzones and salads just before they closed at midnight, and I'd stay up late watching Purple Rain while I ate.... Continue Reading →
During a Drive, A Moment
I love the taste of my hair after a day at the beach. I'd been trying to tame the flying strands of hair as they twisted around in the wind on the drive home. The windows were down to better experience the perfect, warm day - a day on which even if we had air conditioning, we'd shut it... Continue Reading →
Clothing Dummy
Dress to make yourself feel good. I read the words in what was meant to be a sassy rebuttal to how society expects women to dress. I love the concept - wear whatever you want! Be confident! Fuck ‘em! Hard as I try, though, I haven't figured out how to do that: dress to make... Continue Reading →
After the Fight
“We need to learn to fight better,” he said. “I think the problem with us getting along so well all the time is that when something goes wrong, we don’t know how to figure it out!” What he said was true. We would disagree, gently, quietly, and then step away from each other, overly frustrated... Continue Reading →
Love, Love, Love.
I have been absolutely, unequivocally, mind-bogglingly overcome with love lately. Regardless of where I am in my life - physically, geographically or emotionally - it finds me. At work, driving home, sitting on the couch reading - it will gently roll up onto me and suddenly I'm filled with all-out kick ass Love. Love! Nothing... Continue Reading →
I Wrote a Will.
I have this neighbor. I like her. I think she's cool and she does interesting things that I'd like to know how to do, but I'm shy so instead of asking her how, I just get drunk and then text her about...I don't even know. She's very patient. One night we invited she and her... Continue Reading →
It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time
I was 19 when I got my tattoo. When I talk about it now, or forget that it’s there and someone sees it and asks, I laugh and say “well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” The problem is, I don’t remember what the idea behind it was. I only have the... Continue Reading →
My Power Friend
Today is my birthday. As usual, I received a large box from my oldest and dearest friend, Jessica. In it, I found a wrapped gift with this disclaimer: About a year ago, Paulie and I broke up. Shortly after, I had a vivid and powerful dream about an elephant and Paulie. Rather than try to... Continue Reading →
The Enabler
My boyfriend walked into the kitchen as I was beginning to sort dishes and said "okay mom, the kids are going to be entertained for the next 15 minutes or so." I shuffled some plates around and put a couple of glasses on top. "Now's your chance to have some time to yourself." "Okaaaay" I... Continue Reading →
Pour Some Sugar on Me
I awoke on day one of Amanda’s Weekend Alone to find there was no sugar in the house. This wasn’t a surprise - we’d run out two days before, and Nina Simone’s “I Want a Little Sugar in my Bowl” has been on a constant loop in my head ever since. On the first morning... Continue Reading →
Amanda Janik 