I was sitting in the office of an elderly surgeon I’d never met before, one I’d been advised by a friend in the medical industry to not see for surgery. “He’s old and stupid, and I wouldn’t let him anywhere near me with a knife,” I was told. But I was at the mercy of... Continue Reading →
Midlife Crisis
I have been 38 for nearly two months now. Until recently, that meant very little to me. Age - like sweet desserts and the entire state of Texas - has consistently held only the most fleeting of passing interest for me. When faced with the closing out of one decade and beginning of another, I’ve... Continue Reading →
Beck and Call
There is no explanation that I can think of for why I started thinking about Beck in the shower this morning. Whatever the reason, the line of thinking frustrated me. The shower is usually where I do my deeper thinking: ideas for writing, wondering where my life is going, trying to bring into focus the... Continue Reading →
Ladies in the Bathroom
We were standing in line together, waiting for the bathroom. We started a conversation and we were mid-sentence, when the door opened. “Want to come in with me?” I asked. “Yeah. I’m on my period, you don’t mind do you?” I didn’t mind. She asked to go first. We kept talking, I averted my eyes.... Continue Reading →
At This Time, Back Then
Two Aprils ago, Paulie and I decided to break up. There were valid reasons for both of us, which made sense at the time, but clearly they didn't stick because as you know we are again a couple: living together, breathing together, laughing together, growling together. Yes, growling; it wasn't a typo. But growing, too -... Continue Reading →
The Pendulum Has the Answers
I have a vague memory: my mom and I, sitting on the brown, worn-down old carpet in the living room, facing each other. Sometimes this was to practice my psychic powers - of which she thought I had many, and that they were strong. Other times we practiced harnessing the healing energies of crystals, understanding that... Continue Reading →
Hanging Out With Dani Burlison
When I got a text from Dani inviting me over I felt flattered, as usual. It had been a while since she'd invited me to hang out - the last time had started out fine, but then I drank more than was perhaps necessary and had proceeded to talk about blowjobs for her teenage daughter's YouTube channel.... Continue Reading →
My Childhood Dreams Feel Violated. Thanks a lot, Bill Cosby.
Well, I guess it's time to talk about Bill Cosby *sigh* We've all seen it by now - the slow-moving tsunami of shame following our favorite funny-man of yore, the damage building momentum, collecting victims, denials, witnesses as it increases in speed and fury, demolishing hearts and childhood dreams in its wake. Yes - our... Continue Reading →
Me and Joni Mitchell
I climbed back into bed after wishing my Paulie safe travels for the weekend, only to find that the bed is too vast and cold and now my life is one big Joni Mitchell song until he returns. If Joni Mitchell had a seven-year-old daughter climbing into bed with her every few minutes to warm the coldest-ever toes... Continue Reading →
Bedtime
After we ate too much and then drank my magical concoction - garlic, lemon, honey, cayenne, turmeric, ginger, whiskey, hot water - the tea I hoped would heal my coming cough, we lay down, got comfortable. So much garlic, I said, beginning to doze. His slow blinking toward sleep matched mine. You smell like a steak,... Continue Reading →
Amanda Janik 