Would the Movie of my Life start at the beginning? I know this is where things generally start but part of me wants to skip all of that: The parents splitting before I could remember; the brother always punching me in the gut and farting on my head; the hot-faced, self-protective lying and the spankings... Continue Reading →
My Childhood Dreams Feel Violated. Thanks a lot, Bill Cosby.
Well, I guess it's time to talk about Bill Cosby *sigh* We've all seen it by now - the slow-moving tsunami of shame following our favorite funny-man of yore, the damage building momentum, collecting victims, denials, witnesses as it increases in speed and fury, demolishing hearts and childhood dreams in its wake. Yes - our... Continue Reading →
The Stranger
I found myself recently spending the afternoon with a virtual stranger. Scratch that - she was a literal stranger, but a virtual ‘friend’. Despite my tendency to not accept friend requests on social media from people I don’t actually know, somehow this woman and I had become ‘friends’ and, somehow, then found ourselves sharing a... Continue Reading →
Me and Joni Mitchell
I climbed back into bed after wishing my Paulie safe travels for the weekend, only to find that the bed is too vast and cold and now my life is one big Joni Mitchell song until he returns. If Joni Mitchell had a seven-year-old daughter climbing into bed with her every few minutes to warm the coldest-ever toes... Continue Reading →
Bedtime
After we ate too much and then drank my magical concoction - garlic, lemon, honey, cayenne, turmeric, ginger, whiskey, hot water - the tea I hoped would heal my coming cough, we lay down, got comfortable. So much garlic, I said, beginning to doze. His slow blinking toward sleep matched mine. You smell like a steak,... Continue Reading →
The Accident
I once had a sweet little motorcycle. It was a gift from my friend Anders, who was an avid rider. I'd been depressed and was having a hard time making connections after my move from Michigan to Monterey, California. Anders called me up one day with a solution. "I think you need a motorcycle," he said.... Continue Reading →
Bagels with Bryers
I've always loved living alone, but the first time was the most satisfying. Finally tasting freedom, making my own decisions, keeping my own schedule, bathing for as long as I wanted. I called in orders to Martini's for calzones and salads just before they closed at midnight, and I'd stay up late watching Purple Rain while I ate.... Continue Reading →
During a Drive, A Moment
I love the taste of my hair after a day at the beach. I'd been trying to tame the flying strands of hair as they twisted around in the wind on the drive home. The windows were down to better experience the perfect, warm day - a day on which even if we had air conditioning, we'd shut it... Continue Reading →
Clothing Dummy
Dress to make yourself feel good. I read the words in what was meant to be a sassy rebuttal to how society expects women to dress. I love the concept - wear whatever you want! Be confident! Fuck ‘em! Hard as I try, though, I haven't figured out how to do that: dress to make... Continue Reading →
After the Fight
“We need to learn to fight better,” he said. “I think the problem with us getting along so well all the time is that when something goes wrong, we don’t know how to figure it out!” What he said was true. We would disagree, gently, quietly, and then step away from each other, overly frustrated... Continue Reading →
Amanda Janik 